Batman vs Superman: Hollywood's Weird Kid in the Back of the Class (Movie Review)

Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice Movie Review by Hugo Guzman

Of all the opinions I’ve heard regarding Zack Snyder’s most recent attempt at movie-making, there’s one that keeps standing out to me:

“I liked some of it, but I really hated other parts! It’s just all over the place — It’s really weird.”

“Weird” is a beautiful word. It describes uncertainty, strangeness and that quiet kid who sits in the back of the classroom. Why is he such a loner? Does he take pictures of girls in the locker-room? He has a bit of a stutter, so maybe he’s just shy and awkward. But you can’t be sure — what if he follows you home at night and guts you like a pig??

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is that weird kid. And here are all the ways it followed us home at night, and gutted us. Like pigs.

The CGI

Let’s get this out of the way first. It looked like a goddamn PS3 cutscene.

“WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE?” — Me, when CGI like this shows up.

The absolute worst moment in the film was the Batmobile chase, when it shoots its way out of a goddamn boat, right after violating the laws of physics and tossing some cars around like toys. I wouldn’t be surprised if Snyder actually had a toy Batmobile he used while planning this scene.

It was painful to watch so much emphasis being put into the style and design of the film, and see it get shredded in only a few short seconds. CGI was used to place the camera in the middle of the action, except Snyder forgot that you can’t be that close to the action if your action is computer generated. But it wasn’t the biggest problem on-camera…

The Dream Sequences

When young Bruce Wayne (played by the now-legendary Ben Affleck) flew into the air, surrounded by a cloud of bats, I knew this was going to be a different kind of movie. And boy was I right!

BvS is heavy with dream sequences. From the opening scene, which shows us the birth of Batman, to Clark Kent (Henry Cavill) and his touching reunion with Pa Kent (touching despite Kevin Costner’s wood f***ing face), sleep is no rest for the heroes of this film, which fits perfectly with its epic and mythological feel.

Or, it would fit, if those sequences weren’t so weird.

That opening scene was completely left-field. There’s no implication that Bruce is dreaming, and I’m still a bit convinced that Bruce Wayne can f***ing fly, guys. Bruce’s later dream involving a bat-demon-thing popping out of his mom’s grave is a fantastic little jump scare in a movie that has no need for them. Even the aforementioned Father-Son Reunion was marred by shoddy camera work — Michael J Fox shakes less than the camera in that scene.

And then there’s what I’ve come to call “Desert Bat”.

Desert Bat

Bruce is fighting marines!  Who worship Superman!  And f***ing Darkseid is helping them! Parademons show up — That’s cool, right? This dream sequence is a giant homage to the Injustice series, that sees Batman fighting a power-mad and heart-broken Superman. A lot of work was put into this sequence, but it doesn’t fit the movie. When it started, Joey (Co-host of CASUALties) and I just glanced at each other. “What the hell is going on?”

I actually loved this scene, but I love Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody too. It would be very weird to stick that anywhere near my capes**t films.

Bishmillah, NO! I will not let this go!

The Dialog

The way people talked was just funny.

The first hint things would go south quick was also one of the first lines of the film. Something about a dream… and bats showing him beautiful things? A confusing end to a confusing scene, that’s for sure. But like I said — this was just a taste of things to come.

Every scene involving Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) and his senatorial adversaries was just weird. They talked in monologues. They started conversations that went absolutely nowhere. They interrupted each other to go on bizarre tangents about peach tea and piss. At one point, Luthor feeds an old man some Jolly Ranchers. None of it made sense.

The best line came from Senator Julie Finch (Holly Hunter). When she spoke to Luthor before the courtroom hearing scene…

“I grew up on a farm… I KNOW HOW TO WRESTLE A PIG.”

The face of a woman who has wrestled a pig.

The Journalists

Most casual CASUALties followers might not know this, but I’m actually a journalist. At least, that’s what I tell girls I go out with… And my college professors… And my parents.

That’s why I had to restrain myself when ace reporter Lois Lane (Amy Adams) dropped this bombshell in one of the first scenes of the movie.

“Are you a terrorist, General?”

“Oh my god, Lois!! You can’t just ask someone if they’re a terrorist!”

Snyder seems to have read Lane’s description as an “ace reporter” and thought it meant “person with a death wish.” She later bullies and cajoles the Secretary of Defense into giving her state secrets, and demands free flights and helicopters into active battlefields from her editor for no particular reason except that she’s Lois Lane, ace reporter. If I were Perry White (fantastically played by Laurence Fishburne), I would tell her to go writer for Buzzfeed. I’d writer her a goddamn letter of recommendation.

Honorable mention: Secret Agent Jimmy Olsen (Michael Cassidy), who Snyder added to this film just so he could make him into a CIA operative (Was he CIA? Was he LexCorp? WE NEVER KNOW!) just to kill him off moments later.

Lois Lane

No, I’m not done! 

Lois Lane seems to regard her press badge as a permission slip to do anything she wants, no matter how stupid. Why does she try and dispose of the Kryptonite Spear when it’s clear that Batman and Superman are friends now? Why does she then try to rescue the Spear, and nearly get her ass killed? Why does she just go to Gotham, where Batman and Superman are fighting? Why does she make insane demands of government personnel?

“I’m a journalist! I’m being paid to be an idiot!”

It’s just weird, but maybe I’m being too hard on Lois. After all, I know the thrill of the story, and I can’t say I’ve never asked someone if they were a terrorist.

My big problem with Lane is that she’s not allowed to shine. She’s meant to be an idiot. Zack Snyder doesn’t give a flying fuck about the story, or journalistic integrity, or even just portraying Lois Lane as remotely competent.

He’s only interested in her ability to move the plot forward. Of course she tosses the Spear into the water — It adds conflict! Of course Superman has to rescue her — How else would we get him on-screen??  Even her big story — About how LexCorp is setting up Superman to take the fall for murders in the desert (which, in a just world with decent writing, would be considered a key element of the story), is just a means to an end. That end is always Superman.

It’s lazy directing on Snyder’s part, and that’s about to become a running theme in this movie.

Lex Luthor

Jesse Eisenberg holds a special place in my heart, a very warm and fuzzy place. Kristen Stewart is there. And she brought weed!

Pictured: Kristen Stewart, upon realizing Jesse Eisenberg’s character in American Ultra is in the wrong movie.

I just wish Jesse Eisenberg had stayed home with the lovely Stoner Stewart, and we had gotten Lex Luthor to show up in BvS! Where was Lex Luthor?!

Jesse Eisenberg plays Luthor the way he plays every character: as a bumbling, stuttering hipster who really needs to chill out. You could literally just watch 2013’s The Double, add a touch of malevolence to Eisenberg’s shy and awkward character, and you would have Lex Luthor. In fact, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that if BvS really was a weird and quiet kid in the back of a classroom, he would be played by Jesse Eisenberg.

Did Snyder even do any directing here?

The References

He didn’t have to do any directing — Zack Snyder knows capes**t fans are no better than crack whores when it comes to self-control, and visual references are our cocaine. I love easter eggs like these as much as the next guy, especially when they’re as brilliantly done as every visual reference involving Batman. Once again, the caped crusader steals the show.

I may or may not have creamed my pants when this happened.

But visuals fall totally flat when they involve anyone besides Batfleck. Superman goes full Grant Morrison, with nearly every dramatic shot constructed to make him look like Jesus — even after he’s dead (this film premiered on Good Friday, after all). The shot of Lois Lane cradling his dead body was lifted wholesale from depictions of Christ being lowered from the cross, and like in Man of Steel, it just doesn’t work. It looks corny and ham-fisted. Our weird and quiet kid in the back of the class might be a Jesus-freak, guys!

The most glaring reference misstep was the Death of Superman sequences. Where was the iconic shot of Superman’s cape flying in the wind? In a movie that tries too hard to beat you over the head with visual references, I can’t help but think that Snyder just didn’t do his research.

The Plot

I don’t mean the plot of the entire movie. I could write an entire doctoral thesis on how hare-brained the entire story was. What was actually happening in a scene was just weird sometimes.

There’s Lex Luthor and his Jolly Ranchers, the Flash shows up during a dream sequence, Secret Agent Jimmy Olson, Wonder Woman’s motivation boils down to “He’s got my selfie!!”, Doomsday somehow requiring Luthor’s blood, and Luthor showing up at the Senate hearing just to kill his assistant and troll Holly Hunter.... With a jar of piss.

I could go on. And I will! Why does Superman call his mother by her first name? Why does he just walk menacingly towards Batman, instead of explaining the situation? Why does Bruce Wayne need to go to a different party in order to confront Wonder Woman about stealing his flash drive? Also, who was that girl sleeping with Bruce? When Bruce goes to steal the kryptonite, why does he just murder people for doing their jobs and trying to stop him? Those men had families.

The most glaring example was Superman’s heroic poorly thought-out sacrifice. After Lois Lane tries to rescue the Kryptonite Spear (and utterly fails, as God-Snyder demands it), Superman saves her, recovers the spear, and goes to impale Doomsday with it.

Even though Lois flat-out tells him that’s a terrible idea.

Why does he do it anyway, despite the fact that he can barely fly? Why does he get so close to Doomsday? Why didn’t he just throw it? Why didn’t he stick him in the back with it? Why didn’t he give it to Wonder Woman? Why did Bruce just f***ing stand there.

No, I don’t care that being an idiot is “completely within character.” That’s a sh***y character. This movie could have been called “Lois and Superman: Dawn of Idiocy” and it would be accurate. It was Snyder’s duty to give his characters great motivations. Give them actual intelligence and reasons. He didn’t do that. He and the writers allowed the characters of BvS to be complete numbskulls, and that’s what drives the plot forward.

Zack Snyder straight up didn’t care about making a great movie. He just took his toys, smashed them together for a few hours, and called it a day. And if I was sitting in a classroom, with a kid doing that sitting in the back row, there’s only one word I could use to describe the situation:

Weird.

The People vs Snyder: The Beginning of a Betrayal (Movie Review)

Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice Movie Review by Bryan Quevedo

            There is no easy or other way around it, Batman vs Superman was at its best an okay movie and saying so may be giving Zack Snyder too much credit for even trying his hand at going forth with a DC movie universe.  After much contemplation and a LONG late night walk to clear my head there is a conclusion I have reached that satisfies some of the issues that trouble me about this film.  At its best it is a movie that had a great “piece” within its third act and at its worst, it was a movie that had all the components set up for a DC movie universe without giving proper explanation as to why certain things happened the way they did.

            The opening sequence to the movie was none other than a timeless interpretation of the Wayne family death and Bruce’s first encounter with the bats.  It was within these first 10 or so minutes where the movie know how the rest of the itself was going to be handled, ending with Bruce, for some unexplained reason, to be lifted up by these bats into the light from which he fell from.  We are then greeted by an enjoyable (and much needed) scene from the Man of Steel where Zod and Superman are fighting in Metropolis.  It is here where we see two very important ideas that transcend the rest of the movie; a platform on which Batman/Bruce Wayne will fight Superman on and the first look at Bruce Wayne as himself. 

From there the movie fills itself with unnecessary twist and turns, ranging from Lois Lane getting herself into trouble to be saved none other than Superman himself, Clark trying to comprehend his stance within human society, all overshadowing a great performance by Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne and Batman.  The second act of the movie, which followed Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) fall into deep obsession of false gods, was probably the most troubling portion of the whole movie when it came to plot.  Eisenberg’s rendition of Luthor was entertaining (to say the most) but felt completely out of place.  Instead of madmen genius we were given a mad prophet and this is where most of his antics led into some confusing portions of the movie.  Lines like “Do you know what is the biggest lie in American history” only to be interrupted by Senator Finch (Holly Hunter) felt confusing and only made sense after his sabotage of the U.S. Capitol meeting with Superman.  An extremely heavy Luthor second act led to us witnessing the birth of Doomsday and Superman’s continuous search of placement within our society. 

After a long hour and forty-five-minute wait, the third act came and gave way to the platform set up within the beginning of the movie.  Yes, readers, this is where we get Batman fighting Superman, or as Luthor exclaimed it “God vs Man!”  But like any big named UFC fight (climatic at the beginning yet falling short), the fight between Man and God lasted no more than 15 minutes and what made it worse was that this fight could have been avoided altogether.  To aid his capture mother, Superman asks for the help of Batman but progressed in such a stupidly manner that it led to both of them fighting like kids, awkwardly entertaining but you really just wanted it to stop.  It wasn’t until the end where Superman coughs up the name “Martha” that Batman lays down his weapons and the two quickly become buddies (WHAT?!?).  This was followed by one of the best Batman fighting scenes ever to come onto the big screen all ruined after the salty after taste of the introduction of Doomsday and Wonder Woman. 

An easy way to analyze this mess of a movie is to split what worked and what didn’t. 

What Worked

            Everything from Henry Cavill (Superman) to Ben Affleck (Batman) was great if not amazing this time around and this does not mean the writing for these characters.  Performance wise, Henry Cavil stepped it up a notch from Man of Steel and gave us a more confident and grown Superman with no hold backs.  Ben Affleck shined brighter than any other live action Batman we have seen, giving us both a Dark Knight who was brutal and scarred by a long life of crime fighting and a Bruce Wayne that was playboy business tier but also still held onto his parents death as a meaning to continue the fight for justice.  One of the best scenes of the entire movie was the fight scene in which Batman single handily fights a squadron of goons in what could be the closest rendition to a Dark Knight/Arkham Series fight sequence I have ever seen.  From popping up from the floor boards to clothes lining one of the goons into a crate, I couldn’t help but let the little 5-year-old me cry knowing that for once I have seen the Batman I grew up watching in the animated series. 

            Surprisingly enough, Alfred played by Jeremy Irons was spectacular.  Underrated prior to release and STILL after hitting the big screen, Irons portrayal of Alfred was a different take of the famous longtime Wayne butler and second hand of Batman.  Sassy, smart mouth and a spark of youth in his old looking physic made him a comfortable fit whenever he was speaking to Bruce or sitting by himself manning the Bat Cave computers; simply put he was the perfect Alfred to Affleck’s Bruce/Batman.  I would also be lying when I didn’t thank Snyder for putting in spectacular references from the DC franchises, old and new.  From the two cops entering the abandoned house with the camera positioned in slightly lower than them and slowly panning to the left side to reveal the Batrang on the wall, to Superman’s final scene in the movie (yea I am not going to speak about this since it really was unexpected).  There were plenty of comic book easter eggs that would make any DC fan smile, placed just far enough from each other to keep eagle-eyed viewers aware (and awake) long enough to keep watching the movie.

            Honorable mentioning to the Batmobile and Batwing, sleeker design for the Batmobile made it more of a proper agile Batmobile design than the Tumblers sluggish tank look (People who actually the Tumbler are just TERRIBLE!) and the Batwing had a very Batman Animated design to it.  Circular with twin jets behind it resembled that of the 80s/90s cartoon but also borrowed from the Beyond Batwing with its circular wings.

What didn’t work…

            Everything that was not listed above, basically.  Lazy camera work, initial set-ups that had no explanation, LONG plot points that led nowhere at times, some casting of certain characters and (as much as people loved her) Wonder Woman.  Beginning with the camera work, many of the shots had noticeable movements that were quite distracting.  Focal points of certain scenes made it confusing on what to focus on and CGI (or whatever that was…) of the fight between the heroes and Doomsday and especially the Batmobile sequences were terrible, to say the least.  There isn’t much to say about these portions of what didn’t work because; simply put it should have been better.  Something that can be stretched on in conversation is the casting for Luthor and other DC hero cameos.  Beginning with Eisenberg casting of Luthor, it was obvious they had no idea how to head with this young version of Luthor.  We got a hint 0of smart mad man as he spoke to the senator about where demons come from but a very cynical and almost Joker-esque Luthor as he spoke to everyone else including Superman and Batman.  Although, what makes this special is that this can be taken differently according to the viewer.  Personally, he didn’t fit but a majority of others felt comfortable or at times liked his play on Luthor. 

            The DC hero cameos were, unfortunately, a huge bust.  From the casting of Flash (who does not look at all like a Central City Detective) to Wonder Woman’s very awkward appearance to save Batman after seeing the files Bruce sent her, they were all like short little “A-HA” moments than hyped up cameos that meant something.

            Honorable mentioning to the ending and Batman holding a gun; as I said earlier it was pretty good in some portions but this is where we get terrible foreshadowing and Batman initiating the Justice League (who for some reason, here…he is okay with).  This was also a Batman who was not afraid to “kill” and I say “kill” because he did not snap necks or shot the crooks directly.  Throughout the movie we see the Bats running people over, shooting their vehicles until they blow up and at some points holding a gun or operating one.  Although this wasn’t terrible, as a viewer it made me uncomfortable to see the man who saw guns as the enemy hold one to progress.  This can be slightly excused when understanding that this version of Batman has been around for years and is a battle-torn and exhausted Batman who apparently lost Robin to the Joker.

            This may be the longest review CASUALties has written to date and probably the one movie that we have looked more into than anything else but this is only because of how puzzling and conflicted the movie left us.  The conflicts between Batman and Superman was not enough to give it a “vs” title and would have been better suited if the movie was renamed “Batman AND Superman: Dawn of Justice” or just “Dawn of Justice”.  It is a movie that will please fans that will notice the references but will leave those who have not picked up a comic in so long or follow the story of either hero for a while to be annoyed or confused.  There is no way someone can hate this movie, but there is no easy way to like it. 

Overall Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice gets a 5/10.  Sloppy writing and inappropriate set ups made this movie lackluster and those that suffered the most were the actors who played the heroes.  Change the writers, change the directors direction and we can most certainly have a better DC movie universe that all comic book fans will enjoy.